DABDA is not the psychotic rambling of a recently laid off worker. It’s an acronym you should keep in the back of your mind when you finally roll out of bed after Day One of your extended absence from work.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (DABDA) are the emotional stages a person experiences after loss.
Usually reserved for survivors after the death of a close friend or family member, the DABDA model was introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969.
The theory later embraced other forms of personal loss, including the loss of a job or income and other life events.
Studies suggest these stages of grief represent the basic human process of integrating new information that conflicts with previous beliefs.
Individuals experience the stages differently, perhaps in another order, or lingering in one stage and skipping past another. If you’re surrounded by happy, positive people, you may have a totally different experience altogether.
With a layoff, denial may manifest as keeping the bad news from your spouse, or refusing to change your lifestyle and adjust to a salary interruption.
Anger may make people write nasty blogs about their experience.
Bargaining may be a refusal to sign off on your severance proposal, silently hoping for reinstatement.
Depression could be the letdown when one promising opportunity after another evaporates after hours or days of preparation for interviews.
Acceptance is acknowledging that you are indeed okay and capable of life after layoff.
I am not a psychologist who can attest to the validity of these examples of the five stages, but I hope you still get the drift.
The purpose of my mentioning these is to help you recognize and cope with your loss. Talk to your family and friends about your feelings. Listen to how they speak to and about you. Consider what you learn from them.
If necessary, there’s certainly no shame in reaching out for professional help. Talk to your doctor or connect directly with a psychologist. The sooner you work through your loss, the sooner you will feel fit enough to return with a passionate bang to the workforce.
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